So Many Secrets: Childhood Conditioning and Our Quest for Self
- Jane E Porter
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
In a dusty corner of a travelling circus, a young elephant was tied to a slender wooden stake. Day after day, he tugged and pulled, but the rope held firm. As the years passed, the elephant grew into a majestic being with great strength. Yet, each day, he stood quietly by the same slender stake, held by the same thin rope.
One afternoon, a young boy, his eyes wide with wonder, asked the elephant trainer,
‘Papa, why doesn’t he run away?’
‘Ah, ’ his father replied, ‘because he doesn’t believe he can.’
🎧 Prefer to listen? If you’d rather hear this post, just hit play below. You can also find the podcast on SoundCloud - click here to listen.
What do you remember from childhood?
If asked to reflect on your childhood, what comes to mind? Are particular stories flooding your thoughts, or are emotions grabbing your attention? Is there a sense of joy that sparks a smile or a sadness you’d rather forget?
Our childhood experiences of love, care, attention or lack thereof, quietly shape our beliefs and values, often without our awareness. Ideas of what love looks like, what we deserve, and how we react to intimacy are all deeply influenced by early conditioning.
Echoes of the Past
Many of our adult anxieties, sensitivities and emotional spikes are echoes of childhood wounds. What made us feel unsafe, unloved or ashamed back then, can still live in us now, showing up in ways we can’t immediately explain.
For much of my life, I have been down the rabbit hole of childhood conditioning, trying to understand, unravel and rewire. We all have a story, many stories, and this is not about mine, but I would like to share some of the discoveries I’ve made in the hope that you’ll find something relatable and meaningful.
Secrets, Lies and Liberation
As art and writing are kind of my thing, and we’ve now solved the climate catastrophe, I thought I’d move on to something simple: childhood. ‘Secrets, Lies and Liberation’ is a new series exploring the hidden scripts we absorbed growing up, how they carry or confine us, help us to thrive and succeed or continue to wreak havoc.
The aim is to look under the hood, consider research from psychology and neuroscience and find the happy ending. There will be fairytales, some dark, others ridiculous, symbolism, metaphors and a touch of philosophical enquiry.
Below are some of the themes from the series:
The beliefs we built our world upon
How emotions were sculpted (or silenced)
The legacy of shame
Roles we were cast into
Happiness, desire and fulfilment
Can we look beyond the masks and question the narratives that may still be driving our decisions and our happiness? Can we rewrite our story or create a different ending?
About the Artwork: So Many Secrets
The mixed media piece above symbolises shadows from the past, yet there’s strength and a gentle defiance in her gaze. The rest I leave open to your interpretation. Does it stir something in you? A memory, a feeling, a question?
You can view more from the series by clicking here.
Thanks for reading. Until next time ...
Jane E Porter is a Scottish fine artist and illustrator, exploring the world of art, psychology and storytelling. She shares insights and observations made over the past two decades with a delightful mix of wit and wisdom. Join her as she invites you to reflect, question and feel more deeply.
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